Editing The Sevant Murders (section)

===The First Meeting===
(USS Nimitz - Counselor's Office - Couns Winters - 0800)

Vanyssa sat in her office going over the evaluation reports from the last mission.  Something was still unresolved in her mind, and she finally placed her finger on exactly what it was.  She  tapped a nail idly on the desk and spoke "Computer, where is Commander Sevant?"  She listened to the response and rose, going to find him.  

[Commander Sevant is in his Quarters]


(Nimitz - Sevant's Quarters - Cmdr Sevant - 0815)

Sevant continued concentrating on the pieces before him. Made of crystal and etched with notches at various places, they were fundamental to a young Vulcans mental and physical control. They formed a sort of puzzle, and a logical test, all in one. While, at the same time, putting it together required only the most fine motor control. It was a technique that Sevant's father had drilled into him religiously for years, something he had perfected and had continued using as a mind calming technique in the years since. 

"No structure can stand secure without a foundation..." he muttered to himself, very quietly. The words were typical, the chant taught to all young Vulcans who used this technique. His poised his hand out above the small crystalline structure that he had slowly been building up over the hours, and moved to place the piece in place. 

"Logic is the foundation of reason..."

He started to place the piece down, but his fingernail lightly tapped one other piece. The result was a foregone conclusion, the entire structure came tumbling down. 

Sevant's shoulders fell, and the piece dropped from his fingers as he contemplated the mass of crystal on the table. It was no use, he absolutely could not turn his mind from the grief at hand, not even over half a lifetime of Vulcan control could pull him out of his void. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, put his hands in his face. The images he had seen of Vicki and the children had replaced Vanyssa's mental call in his nightmares, but if anything those images were even worse. Far, far worse. 

Vanyssa felt something drawing at her from the other side of the ship and felt herself running down the hallway towards Sevant's quarters.
She didn't know why she had run, or why she was so concerned. He was a Vulcan, and even with the grief that he had suffered should be ok.

Should did not make things ok. 

She stood outside his door, hair coming out of pins and curling  around her ears, catching her breath, and hit the door chimer. 

She then realized what this feeling was. Loss. Her loss for David.  

Sevant pulled his face out of his hands by the third ring of the chime.
"Hold," he said in a gruff voice, very quiet, but the computer would amplify it for whomever was sitting outside. He considered the puzzle before him again, then swept it to the floor in a meaningless gesture of defeat. 

Slowly he stood, his eyes half closed. He checked his Vulcan robes to make sure they were secure, and considered bringing the atmosphere back to a humanoid nominal state for whomever was visited. He quickly decided against it, whoever it was would not be staying long. The temperature in his quarters was 110 degrees, with humidity drastically lowered. Vulcan norm, in fact. Vicki had hated it when he changed the settings to feel more comfortable now and again, to her it was a sauna. To him, it was as close to home as he could get anymore. 

He found a seat and sat in it gently, covering his mask of pain as best he could with an even better one, a mask of indifference. "Come." he said, finally. 

Vanyssa walked in and nearly choked on the air in Sevant's cabin.
~Sevant?  It's Vanyssa?  Where are you?~  She asked quietly, suddenly feeling that the emotion drawing her here was gone. She shivered with cold despite the heat of the room.  Something was very very wrong.

When she heard no answer in the dark she spoke aloud. "Sevant? I can sense that you are in this room."  She waited for a response with baited breath. 

~Winters, a telepath, of course.~ he thought with a surge of sudden anger, that he worked to suppress as he flung up his shields again even harder. There would be no more emotional leakage!

At the sound of her voice he relaxed again, and folded his fingers together as he took a deep breath. "What can I do for you, Mrs.
Winters?"

Vanyssa blinked in the darkness as he didn't use her rank, her name or her position, just her civilian title.  ~Goddammit!~  She thought well within her own shields, ignoring the brief surge of anger that seemed to come and go like the tide.

"As Counselor of this starship, Commander Sevant, I think that you and I need to talk about the recent events concerning your wife and child."
She spoke aloud, ignoring the emotions that she hoped were hers and hers alone.  If they weren't, then Sevant was worse off than even she could fix. 

Vanyssa blinked for a second, trying to bring moisture to her eyes, "Commander?  Where are you in this room?"  Vanyssa wasn't so sure that she wanted to see him or the room.  Somehow the dark was oddly comforting....

Sevant tapped his index fingers together for several moments, then closed his eyes. "There is an old saying, Counselor; Time heals that which reason cannot." He broke for a few seconds, trying to organize his thoughts into something manageable. "I would much prefer if you did not attempt to talk to me about my... family."

Vanyssa took in what Sevant had said, and replied after a few moments "You do realize that Starfleet duty prevents me from honoring that request.  And..."  Her voice broke a second. "I owe Vicki this..to help you with this."  Vanyssa found herself stumbling for words, grasping for straws, anything that would help him see reason. "Vicki once told me that your bond was deep.  She said that there were times even on earth that she could feel you.  I know what it is like to lose someone with whom that kind of bond exists.  I don't know much about Vulcan psychology, but I do know Betazoid.  And Betazoids need help dealing with this kind of loss."  She spoke softly but urgently.  He would talk to her, she would help him, dammit.  She had to.  

If not this time then the next. She would go visit the one Vulcan on board and ask her for help if needed.  T'Pal would be willing to help another Vulcan.....

Sevant continued to tap his fingers silently, trying not to cringe at any mention of his wife. Thus far, he had almost succeeded in getting around any mention of her or the children, any indication that something was dreadfully wrong. Only his quarters, with everything intact, and the thoughts in his own head were any constant reminder. His aplomb broke, though the only outward indication of it was his head fell to his chest to cover the expression on his face. 

He was still conscious of Vanyssa awaiting an answer. He took an audible breath, and recovered himself as best he could, and called out "Lights to fifty percent."

The light level rose slowly, revealing Sevant in the only chair his living room supported. Everything else he had left just as it was, down to the last decoration. He knew what psychology said about such things, he honestly didn't care much anymore. Most of the standard psychology texts had not been written with a Vulcan and Betazoid joint mind-link as a focus group. 

In a very low voice he said, "What will it take to convince you that I don't require counseling?"

Vanyssa looked around the room, her eyes widening.  She turned back to Sevant, and spoke evenly "Nothing, Caladryll Sevant, will convince me that you do not need counseling."  She tried to soften the words. "I don't need to go into all the things in this room that are glaring signs now, Sir, do I?"  Vanyssa walked quickly across the floor to stop a few steps from him.  She ignored the sweat, how uncomfortable the room was, and everything external.

"You know the standard procedure as well as I do, Sir.  And the Captain, the Mission Commander, or even the Fleet Commander himself are not exception.  The policy is there for a reason...and I thought that you might prefer me over Kestra.  I knew Vicki and your children very well."
Her lower lip quavered as she remembered trying to explain to Jennah exactly what had happened and why it had happened and how not only was her Daddy not coming home tonight, but her friends were not going to be at school the next morning....

"Standard procedure be damned." he muttered to himself as he closed his eyes again, he didn't need to see another person mourning the loss of his wife, he was still coming out of shock on the scope of the matter.
Everywhere he turned was a reminder that he would never see his family again. Not one of them, or God forbid even two. But three, five if you counted the unborns. His whole world, neatly disposed of by some soporific and a knife. 

"Just what is it you think you can do," he asked, his lips tight and hands gripping the metal sides of the chair with a death grip. "Bring them back perhaps? Find a way to smooth over the feelings, the raw edge of our bond..."

Vanyssa blinked away the tears and stared at Sevant.  This was not the Sevant she knew and something was very very wrong. 

"I can't bring them back, or by Goddess I would, Caladryll.  I would bring them back, and bring back Jennah's parents and fix David..."  She sighed and let the emotions that gripped her trickle away.  "I don't know much about Vulcan mysticism, but if it has any similarities at all to Betazoid, I *can* help smooth the edges...at least so that you can leave these quarters and not feel hopeless..."  She looked down at her hands. "T'Pal said something interesting to me a couple nights ago when she came to pick up her daughter, that I should come to you. I don't know why, but I will do anything in my power to help you, Caladryll Sevant."  She sank to her knees, tired of standing.  She was giving all the power to him, and she hoped that he would take the chance that she was offering. 

Sevant cupped his forehead in one hand, and massaged his temples as he thought. T'Pol, that was the last person he needed looking into his personal life and well being. It was quite possible he was a non-emotional laughing stock of the Vulcans on the ship, most of them wouldn't even be in this situation. He was, of course, a bastard at best in the eyes of most Vulcans. Being a follower of Sybok, seeking out emotion, tended to do that. 

Sure, there were ways that 'Vulcan Mysticism' could help, he had already identified part of the problem. His link to Victoria hadn't been severed slowly, controlled, as would be in a strange case of Vulcan divorce or broken engagement. It had been ripped from him, just a little piece of her was still floating around him, raw. A never ending reminder of the void that he now had to live with. 

Ah, but did he dare tell her, that was the question. He didn't want anyone poking around in his head, not a full-bred Vulcan OR a Betazoid.
His memories were all he really had left, she was just about all he had lived for. What difference did it make, if the memories were smoothed over?

Sevant folded his hands together again, and stared at the picture of his family on the living room table as he considered his options. "Then start talking already," he eventually said. If talking would get her to leave, then he would let her talk. All other options he could consider at a later time. 

"You know as well as I do, that it doesn't work that way.  I'm the one who listens, and you are the one who talks."  she settled herself more comfortably on the floor, and followed his eyes to the table.  There were no words forthcoming, so Vanyssa sat and waited until there were words.  

The Vulcan simply stared at her, unspeaking, controlling his grief only with the anger that was slowly building at this impetuous woman sitting before him, in his own quarters, trying to dictate to him what he would and wouldn't do with his own time and emotions. Still, she was right in one sense, it was her duty and she wouldn't give up. That didn't mean she couldn't defer however, there was no helping someone who absolutely didn't want to talk at the moment. 

"I think," he said after several silent minutes, "That this conversation would best be put off until another time. I'm off duty, regulations do not permit you to simply stay the night on my living room floor. I will consider what you said," 

~Later,~

(Posted by Trout & Melinda Martin)