Editing The Sevant Murders (section)

===Smoothing the Link===
'''Stardate: 2406.03.19.'''

(Nimitz - Sevant's Quarters - Cmdr Sevant/Couns Winters - 2020)

Vanyssa arrived outside his quarters at the appointed time, and found that the door opened for her automatically. She walked in and saw Sevant, coming over to him slowly. ~I'm here, Caladryll~  She projected very softly, waiting for a response. 

Sevant, settled on his knees with his eyes closed, gestured to a rug he had laid out on the floor beside him, then folded his hands together again in his lap. "We will begin shortly," he said quietly.

Vanyssa sat down and made herself comfortable across from Sevant.  She was still centered, her mind calm and she was as ready for this as she was ever going to be. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, waiting for Sevant to begin.

Sevant took a deep breath and cleared his mind the best he was able too.
This was not going to be a pleasant sensation for him, nor for her. What would have been a simple matter of detaching with the person he had connected himself too so many years before, was now going to be akin to surgery, to remove what was left of her personality from himself.
Painful, in action and in thought. 

~I don't want to do this.~ he thought quietly, in a very heavily shielded part of his mind. 

With infinite slowness he reached out with both of his hands, and gently touched her face. The meld had begun.

Vanyssa felt Sevant's mind linking to hers, and she cleared her own, feeling the two join together. It was better than anything else that she had ever experienced, and it made her feel whole again.  ~Stop that~ She thought to herself, looking around the room known as Sevant and trying to find the piece that was Vicki.

~Where is she Cal? Can you take me to her?~  She asked the other half of her softly.  Her longing for David was beginning to intrude and she ruthlessly ignored it, in favor of other things.

~Cal, show me Vicki~  Vanyssa spoke louder, in a more commanding voice.

~ruta zakun~ Sevant said mournfully. 

He 'looked' at the mental image of Vanyssa, and then looked around. The Meld had been achieved, they were connected now. The rite of Ruta Zakun was begun. He half closed his 'eyes', his awareness of all around him, and concentrated solely on his own mind. He projected to her, ::I don't want to go there, it's too painful. This was a mistake.::

Vanyssa felt Sevant reaching for the link that bound them together, and did something she didn't know that she could do. She stopped him. ~No.~ She spoke.  She showed him the image that she had picked up from Kestra of Collins body mangled and hurt. ~Do you want to do that again?~  She asked, a little ruthlessly.  ~If this doesn't get taken care of, the Captain will have no choice but to court martial you~  She showed him an image of what that would be like.

~Now, Caladryll Sevant, show me Victoria.~ Vanyssa commanded. She stood back and waited for him to answer her, in this place where there was no time.

Sevant's mental image bristled, and reared back to strike in a natural reaction to being 'attacked'. But the images made him pause, and see sense. He didn't throw her out of his mind, in the end, but simply sat sullenly as he considered everything. ::This is why a Vulcan master is usually in attendance.:: he sent after a near eternity of thought. 

::This will not be pleasant, for either of us.:: he said as he 'turned'
in his mind and the scene dissolved around them. What came up was an image of his quarters, but not those on the Nimitz. This was the Boudicca, his first full-time duty station. His 'lips' thinned as he looked around. There was no evidence of Vicki living here, these were his Spartan quarters, before his move to Starbase 23. This was why it wasn't going to be pleasant, he hadn't the control to 'bring' them right to where they needed to be. 

The ship was at Red Alert, lights and klaxons were blinking. As if a dream, Sevant felt himself being pulled, as if he weren't where he was supposed to be. Without a word, or even a thought, to the Counselor; he walked through the doors of his quarters and started walking the corridors, letting himself be pulled to wherever he was being pulled. He forgot about his pain, about his loss, as thoughts and feelings of the time period passed through his mind. Here, he had been a Security and Tactical Chief, in charge of the weapons of a pure-bred Warship. He had belonged here, and he remembered well that belonging. 

Vanyssa watched as Sevant showed her  a scene - and she was a little surprised not to recognize the starship. She  ran after Sevant, and followed discretely at the distance. She saw that he led her to security, and she stopped him with an outstretched hand.

~Victoria isn't here, Caladryll. Where is she?~  Vanyssa asked him, blocking his way, and waiting for him to answer.  ~You direct this show.~  Vanyssa turned around and saw the Vanguard  promenade - and heard an explosion.  She was on the Vanguard, right before David had left.

And that explosion was terrorists bombing the restaurant that Jennah's parents were in.  She turned to go help, to get the survivors out, the smoke was so thick, it almost choked her.  She reached out to Sevant, begging him to grab her as she spiraled down into memory and illusion.

Sevant's hand snapped out, grabbing hold of Vanyssa's 'arm' hard and flinging her back. He looked at her hard for many moments, then around him. ::You are bleeding thoughts into mine.:: he said after an eternity that lasted but moments. ::Lock them down, or our memories will be
intertwined!::

Vanyssa stood there, her chest heaving.  She clung to Sevant's arm, and worked on locking down her memories.  She saw the scene shift from the Vanguard to another starship and she turned with a quizzical look to Sevant.

::And, don't go wandering around in my mind without me. You can die just as easily in a meld, in a vision... as you can physically. Die here, and your body would wither without consciousness to direct it.::

She shivered and saw him turn and she went with him.  ~Where are we going, Sevant?~  She asked putting some distance between the two.

Sevant didn’t answer for many moments, instead taking the time to walk slowly and look around. ::I don’t quite know yet,:: he said eventually.
::I'm fighting the impulse to simply relive the memory.::

He turned a corner, then suddenly stopped and shook his head. ::This is no good, this is not a physical universe.:: He frowned, turned to look at the closest door, then gave it a savage kick. The door flung wide open as if it was on hinges, and bright red sunlight filtered through and onto them. ::Better.:: he said very quietly as he moved to step through the door. 

Sevant found himself in a courtyard, his old family home that had passed to him after his father had died in the line of duty with the Ambassadorial Corps. There were several silent peoples standing in the courtyard, all of them dressed formally and nearly all of them Vulcan.
This was his wedding, four months or so after his fathers funeral and into his Compassionate leave from Starbase 23. The people in attendance were one priest, human, and several of his families friends to stand as witnesses. Vicki's family was also in attendance, her father was never far from Vulcan, being an Ambassador himself. 

The phantom Sevant family, at the time consisting only of one VERY pregnant Vicki and Caladryll himself, stood before the priest. Vicki in a simple white dress, Sevant in traditional Vulcan robes that had been touched up by Vicki's mother to be slightly more appropriate for the occasion. 

Sevant and Vanyssa looked on, off to the side and near the fountain, as the phantom family said their vows that would bind them together legally. Another ceremony would be preformed on Earth, a few months later, for the benefit of Vicki's entire family.. But it was this ceremony that had first bound them, as if anything could have been more binding then their love and the mental connection they had made on the Boudicca. The wedding had been a mere formality, but it had still been a turning point in Sevant's life. The very memory of it shook him to the core, but he couldn’t turn away as the two phantoms turned to each other, hand in hand, and began to speak to each other. 

He found himself mouthing the words he had spoken, very silently, in time with his former self. He couldn’t stop himself, the memory was far too powerful. He tried to turn, he tried to stop listening, but the words floating on the gentle wind and found him anyway. "I bind myself to you, Victoria, from now until the end of existence. My joy shall be yours, and I shall only be devoted to you. This I swear, for always."


With their chaste kiss, the real Sevant found he was free to move again, and rapidly turned. "This is the place, Vanyssa. Our mental binding was many months before, but this was what meant the most to Victoria, this is where the link became the strongest. This is where my mind continues to bleed."


Vanyssa nodded and looked around noticing tiny portions of Vicki, like open wounds. She felt so clumsy, she had never done this before.  She imagined herself to be water, flowing over the rocky and spiky parts of his mind, wearing down the spikes and making them blunter.  She continued to do this over a couple and then felt her link with him grow fainter, and with a mental lurch she broke it. They were both tired and could continue at another time.  It wasn't done, but it was a good first step.  She opened her eyes and looked at him,  shielding herself so that she wouldn't sense him. "Do you feel any different?" She asked. "do you think that we accomplished anything today?"

She felt herself grow limp, having to make a conscious effort to  relax her body.  There was this crick in the neck, that she wasn't sure was ever going to come lose.

Sevant didn't open his eyes, he already knew there were tears free-flowing. He couldn't answer if he felt any different, he was too far buried in guilt and memories, dreams of what would no longer be. He took a deep breath, ragged as it was, and opened his eyes to the dimly lit quarters. He was stiff, and his arm was cramped up horribly. Most mind-melds were of a very short duration, this one had lasted far longer then he intended. 

"We did enough," he said at last.

Vanyssa looked over at him, "Are you sure?"  she asked, feeling confused.  She saw the look on his face, and then, since they had been so intimately joined, did the one thing that she would never have done to any other Vulcan. She got up, albeit stiffly and walked over to give him a huge hug.

Sevant screwed his eyes shut at the flashes that hit him with his shields down when she touched him. He quickly blocked out the images, and ever so slowly brought one of his arms around her. 

When they had parted, he said "I will not be sure for some time to come, only time..."

He broke off and looked down. "We shall see." he finally said. "My....
thanks, Counselor."

{{Civil war}}

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